The fluoresent sign hasn’t been ignited for years. It hangs unlit and spiritless over the desolate back street. The fire escape that we’d made our front door has gone unscaled since that youthful summer so long ago. At the time we hadn’t realized how powerful that time would become, how it would shape us and influence our futures, we were just living our lives, the only way we knew how.
Int he beginning our homely little alley had been nothing more than a dark corner in the underbelly of an unforgiving city. It didn’t take long for it to transform into the epicenter of the cities artistically vibrant, culturally devoid yet characteristically rich underground scene. The vulgarity and madness of our young bodies fueled creativity and expressionism of our blossoming minds.
The endless nights we spent off our heads in the brightly lit, bustling market of our generation spoiled us for the nights we now spend alone, in the dark.
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May 6, 2008 at 18:13
hcorman
I really like the first paragraph. It would make an excellent introduction to a longer piece. I realize that this is a continuation. I feel that the first paragraph doesn’t really fit with the rest in terms of word choice and tone. The rest of the writing (this piece and last) is, for me, like reading a piece of modern art. I don’t always understand how all of the pieces fit together, but I can appreciate them individually. The first paragraph is more clear to me. Less metaphorical.